Living It

I left Lee’s apartment without really remembering the trot down the rickety stairs leading me into the cold night air. I was still warm from her embrace as I walked past store fronts, cafes and restaurants. I felt as though someone was following me, but I couldn’t hear footsteps. When I turned my head the shadows all stood still; all I could see was steam rising from the drainage grates. I had hoped when I turned around I would see Lee, but there was no one there. My heart sank a bit; I knew she would never follow me. She would never follow me anywhere.

My disappointment gave into the strong aroma of fresh brewed coffee from a cafeteria up ahead. In just a few strides I was at the counter ordering coffee looking for a table. The cafeteria was more crowded than I was comfortable with.  I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t afford to be here.

I was handed a cup and I left the little bit of change I had on the counter. I stood frozen in the crowd looking for a seat. As I stood still a tall gentleman with black rimmed glasses walked up to me touching my cup as if to take it from me. He smiled at the expression of surprise on my face while asking me to join him at his table. He was alone waiting for time to pass. He had a meeting at eight o’clock.

Our conversation was casual, but directed at more than the weather. He felt sad at my plight to find work and I felt admiration for him having a professional life, a career. Time passed quickly and we were both headed to an eight o’clock meeting. He asked if I stopped at the cafeteria often.  I said it was possible I could make more of an effort to stop in and then we left our table.

He put me into a cab, gave the cabby fare and told him to take me wherever I wanted to go. I had shoved the address of my eight o’clock meeting in the pocket of my coat. I fumbled for a minute as the cabby pulled away from the curb. I read the address out loud fighting my want to turn around. I wanted to, but I couldn’t. I wanted to look back and watch him get smaller and smaller as the cabby fought his way into traffic, but I didn’t. I just sat still, eyes forward, thinking about the last two hours of my life.